Saturday, June 6, 2009

several more "paranormal state" reviews

i just haven't been able to bring myself to watch this show anymore -- thank you Rev for taking the HIT for me and everyone else who is sick of this show.

speaking of taking a hit -- did anyone read ryan buell's blog about 420 day and the issue of legalizing MJ ? it was interesting that ryan had a recent trip to amsterdam.

many are wondering if he has rastafarian roots......



once again, the summaries in this entry are all from the inimitableRevDrDk.

his new slogan should be: Rev watches PS so we don't have to.

thank you Rev for your hilarity and diligence in documenting the complete crap that is "paranormal state" for us, and doing it in a way that makes it funny instead of completely idiotic as it often is when watching the actual show!

most people who can still stand to watch it likely vacillate between laughing, throwing things at the TV in sheer disgust, or turning it off and going to watch the grass grow instead.

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The Anniversary

In this episode we seem to have another peripatetic spirit. The little girl haunting the newly built house was murdered several miles away, in what I remember to be Southwest - damn, I can't remember the state. Virginia ? Anyway, she was raped and murdered by someone not of her family, as I believe is the custom round them parts.

The Grandma of the haunted house says the girl has a round face. in a subsequent photo we are shown, I would say the girl has an angular face. Bur, Grannie did pick her out of a photo lineup. The sketch artist came up with what looked like Howdy Doodee in drag. (A Filipino friend of mine told me that when he first moved to the US he had a hard time keeping white people straight, "Because you all look like Howdy Doodee.")

The young miss of the haunted house, Sierra, is quite the fashion plate, wearing just the right TJ Max specials to fit the mood of Dead Time. She even got her own 'cam.

Personally, I found the scariest thing in this episode to be Michelle B's hairdo. Kind of a Jo Anne mushroom top. Not flattering on anybody, but especially not her with her big ol' haid.

Once again, the psychic's reading was suspiciously close to the information the kids got at the local museum. Spookily close, one might say.

All in all though, one of the more witchy episodes.


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Room 36 (or whatever it was)

Man, was this one a boring splotch. I hope the free advertising helped the cheesy bread & breakfast. One of my pet-peeves-I know many people use the term stomach flu-BUT THERE"S NO SUCH THING ! We all know what the flu is-a viral infection of the respiratory system. It can kill-usually via complications like pneumonia. The little girl allegedly named Sarah, we are told by the town historian, died during a flu epidemic. Somewhere else in the episode, someone tells Rybert that they have seen her holding her stomach, so later on, he makes the diagnosis, death by stomach flu (he should know that feeling squidgy & puking do not usually lead to death). Then there is some obnoxious old ghost-man who likes to whistle. Of course, Vamperilla Michelle (she puts the hell in Michelle) picks up pretty much perfectly on all this.

The scariest thing in this episode are the earrings. Katrina is wearing some multi-strand chain numbers (does someone watch QVC ?), the son of the propriaters has a couple blingy gold hoops and Cherry (Share-ree, I think) is wearing a pair the size of Kia hub caps. She also has such a Beehive (B-52) that it doesn't fit in the standard shots. You can only see its real grandeur when it's in a slightly longer shot. It's pretty spectacular & I'm glad to see it in 2009.

Katrina plays 2 games of hide & seek with Sarah (her favorite). The second one is cut up with other"spooky" shots as she counts to ten. Oh, the suspense is unbearable. Another scary movie cliche. Guess what ? Nothing happens (I guess Sarah's camera shy).

Michelle declares the spirits to be happy and suggests that they just get used to them and make up and be friends. A tacky ornament is hung up over room 36 that says "Sarah's Room." Every body is happy, the B&B gets free advertising. Every body can enjoy their earrings in comfort and safety.

Yawwwn.


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The Raven


OH COME ON ! They're not even trying any more. If you have not watched this episode, you might want to skip this post. Nothing I could write would match the amazing train wreck of this one. It really is worth watching. It is by far the most inane PS yet.

Where to start ? Maybe some cruel ad hom attacks on the "victims." They're stuck in the '70s-most decidedly the hair. It's big. It's feathered. It's kind of a cross between '70s fern bar & Washington, DC helmet hair. I think Gov. Blagovovovitch of Illinois is their style consultant. Moms got an unmoving mass of a mane. And the home decorating is beamed in from somewhere in the 70's as well. How they do it, I don't know. Some kind of apportation.

The priest Bob Bailey is along-is he a part of Ry-ry's tool kit now ? Has he replaced Chipper as Ry's BFF ? Lowrain is there, like a shriveled up little Victorian applehead doll. Michelle is on the phone. Dr. Parapsychologist even makes an appearance.

My girl Heather gets to wear The Device of the Week this time. It's a nice sleep mask with red lights over the eyes that flash every 5 seconds. It's supposed to wake you up enough that you can have "lucid" dreams. I don't know about you, but an eyesocket disco is not going to let me get any sleep. I don't think Heathy obtains the desired results.

Mom is quite histrionic. She has seen a Raven (one of my favorite animals). She has been choked and heard demonic voices. Now this is where it gets really good-the entire family is terrified-TERRIFIED !- by potpourri "balls". Now I know you will say, "In that case, where is Chip ?" This poor family is being fragrantly tea-bagged by a poltergeist. The little potpourri balls go flying all over the house. The horror, the horror.

Quoth the Raven , "Lest you see your entire family slayed
Get yourself some plug in Glade."

Mom, in tears (as she is most of the time) tells Ryborg that "God doesn't give us more than we can stand." But she's had all she can stand & she cans't stand no more. (I've often wondered about this saying about "More than we can bear." Surely victims of witch trials, guests of the Inquisition, Nazi death camps, Pol Pot [Pol Potpourri ?], etc., would beg to differ.) All this because of air born room fresheners.

Lowraine intuits that there is a health problem going on that has something to do with things-a classic cold reading technique.She also informs us that puberty is often the cause of poltergeist activity. Well, almost, Lowrain. The Lady of the house admits, somewhat petulantly, that she is having, "Womanly problems." In a flash, RyRy's on to it-"Menopause !" he cries almost joyfully.

According to Michelle (who should know, what with the hormone treatments, etc.) this could make Mom a "Nexus" of PK energy. Rybert explains this to the troops, including Elfie, who is dressed like a dwarf Stevie Ray Vaughn in drag.

During deadtime, as Heather lays in the master bed with her flashing sleep mask, we hear a "plink" just as Mom is having a meltdown in the living room.ryan's yelling, Father Bob is bobbing and Mom is yelling-it's all quite a tsimmis and a fury. It turns out that a potpouri ball had "apported" right through the wall, thanks to the PK generated by Moms yelping (and hot flashes ?) and attacked my dear Heather.

Earlier in the show, Mom describes that as she was being choked, she heard a demonic voice in her ear growling "Malthus." Surge, Ryan and Lowraine all looked spooked and hastily excuse themselves. They check a lapttop. It appears that Wikipedia has a listing for a demon named Malthus. He comes as a crow. He speaks in a growly voice. Oh, the shock ! But, no matter, Rybert decides that this is not a demonic case for some reason.

Of course, I thought of my fellow Rev, Thomas Robert Malthus. We should all remember him (1766-1834) from High School biology class as the Englishman who first postulated population dynamics. Here's the Wikipedia entry for him (is everybody getting sick of my Wikipedia postings ?) :



For the demon, see Malthus (demon).
Thomas Robert Malthus Classical economics

Thomas Robert Malthus
Birth February 13, 1766(1766-02-13)
(Surrey, England)
Death December 23, 1834 (aged 68)
(Bath, England)
Nationality British
Field demography, macroeconomics, evolutionary economics
Influences Adam Smith, David Ricardo, Jean Charles LĂ©onard de Sismondi
Opposed William Godwin, Marquis de Condorcet, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, David Ricardo
Influenced Charles Darwin, Francis Place, Garrett Hardin, John Maynard Keynes, Pierre Francois Verhulst, Alfred Russel Wallace, Karl Marx, Mao Zedong
Contributions Malthusian growth model

The Reverend Thomas Robert Malthus FRS (13 February 1766 – 23 December 1834) was a British scholar who did influential work in political economy and demography. Malthus used his middle name Robert, though work after his lifetime often refers to him as Thomas Malthus.

Malthus came to prominence for drawing attention to the potential dangers of population growth: "The power of population is indefinitely greater than the power in the earth to produce subsistence for man". As an Anglican clergyman, Malthus saw this situation as divinely imposed to teach virtuous behaviour: he regarded optimistic ideas of social reform as doomed to failure. He thus presented to the reader a dystopian, negative, view of the world, in contrast to the eutopias of writers such as Rousseau and William Godwin. A disaster occurring as a consequence of population growth outstripping resources is known as a Malthusian catastrophe.

Malthus placed the longer-term stability of the economy above short-term expediency. He criticised the Poor Laws and (alone among important contemporary economists) supported the Corn Laws, which introduced a system of taxes on British imports of wheat. He thought these measures would encourage domestic production, and so promote long-term benefit.

Malthus became hugely influential, and controversial, in economic, political, social and scientific thought. Many of the later evolutionary biologists read him,[6] particularly Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace, for whom Malthusianism became an intellectual stepping-stone to the idea of the survival of the fittest.[7][8] Malthus remains a writer of great significance.


So, after all this Paranormal help, we are informed that the potpourri balls are still flying, but no Ravens have been seen. I guess the family enjoys the poltergeist (Raven based: Poultrygeist) activity. My big question is : Why don't they just get rid of the horrid little things ? Lemony freshness or not. Sheesh

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so there you have it.

just for kicks -- you can check out this recent review of PS from slant - i thought 2 1/2 stars out of four was very, very generous:

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