i can't do it, once again i can't manage to watch another episode of this show, i know, i know -- i'm missing some of the Best Parody Evuh -- but once again, thankfully the RevDr comes thru -- this show is hideous in it's wanton parody factor and i keep finding myself frozen with ennui.
all i can type is "shrug" and "did chip wear a new scarf?"
people are laughing about this show all over the globe and i am starting to find it too stupid to watch.
so, i haven't been watching lately. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz---waaah?
i promised Rev i'd watch and co-review, but after i read his review i once again didn't feel the need to subject myself to the idiocy of this television show....
once again, the review is all on the RevDr - and what a review it is, as usual.
((i keep telling revDr a book is in order!))
THANK you rev, you present it like no one else!
i can't wait til someone comes up with some really good YouTube parodies...this show and all of its idiotic "ghost hunting" devices, chip coffey, michelle belanger....the parody factor is sky-high.
"The Devils Nest."
What ? Little Devil. Big PaPaBob in cheap waders. Pinky rings. Hamster scratches. Cross Dressing Hillbillies. (Jesus: The Original Cross Dresser). Ryan in mortal fear. Elfie in Humphrey Bogart Drag. Chip:wrong but so Right. Take me to the river (but only part way).
It all begins when Dad of a family of 4 (I believe) starts off describing the worlds most stealthy, slow motion patty-cake attack by a werewolf . He's wide awake but cain't move-classic hypnagogic sleep- while this were-creature scratches him up like a psychotically wielded loofah. Right next to him, his wife sleeps on, ignorant of his fearsome exfoliation. His teenage stepson suffers from similar dermabrasion. It's some kind of Demonic health-spa. They have the photos to prove it. Their scratches make Lara6's look like serious contusions.
They bring in the sketch artist to get a rendering of this fiend. It ends up looking like Bill O'Reilly in a mangy squirrel suit. (Is that redundant ?) Pinata !!
Dad's afeared that the weresquirrel is going to get tired of him & go after the kids. Mom, who looks about as world weary as possible, is in tears a lot. There are unspecified goings on & the usual. By the way, this is in a cool looking little rustic cabin of unknown age. Rattling doorknobs, opening doors, spooky noises & shadows. What is it with PRS and shadows ? What is so damn creepy about a shadow ? Especially when their are several light sources. Speaking on not-so-light-sources, poor Katrina is nearly dispatched by---a falling camera ! Yikes ! There is also an upright piano that does its thing know & then. Ryan asks if it's like someone pressing notes on it or what ? Ryan-you press a KEY that produces a TONE. A note is the written expression of a particular tone, Schmucko.
Chip comes over and does a house reading. Mmmn. He gets a female entity. Strange, I think, since it's just been the weresquirrel thus far & he seems male. 2 men are suffering. Chip pantomimes claws and says "Wolf." Yes, 2 men being pestered by a werewolf. Fortunately Sergei talks to a werewolf "expert." She explains that one doesn't do the big Hollywood morphing thing. People who are allegedly able to create an "energy envelope" of wolf like energy and appear wolf like to lookers on. Oh, so that's how that works. I always wondered.
Next, we get a little back story from the woman that owns & rents out the cabin. Is she a piece of work. Smarmy, smirky, condescending and quite pleased with herself. Of course her name is Laverne. She plays Rybort (say-he & Elfie should sign up for a facial with the wereloofah) beautifully, feeding him just enough information. I don't know if it's the editing, but it seems like he needs to go back to her to elicit information several times. Mom built the cabin (literally ?). Her beloved brother Rocko lived there. Rocko committed suicide. Astutely, Ry asks if he was depressed. Yes, we must distinguish between those people who are screamingly happy and those that are abysmally depressed who commit suicide.It was an overdose. After Momma died. Getting information from Laverne is like pulling teeth.
After all is said & done, it turns out Rocko was a Drugged up Drag Queen.MY GOD ! Chip was so right after all-it is a feminine entity after all. (This would have been a better case for Michelle) All tore up about Momma, Rocko gets all Ed Gein and starts a Devil worshipping-seance-having-pentagram-drawing-x-dressing-drug 'n sex-partying free for all. Ryan looks like he's about to soil his underoos.
Big door opening ! Big ratings !
Unfortunately, we don't get a reaction from Chip. It probably takes him back to his youth. Jumping Jesus, is Ryan ever wigged ! No wonder there's been so much demonic behavior, what with all this iniquity and naughtiness going on. (As an aside, I would have been proud to live in a Hillbilly Hellhole such as this. Now that's some story !) Laverne just smirks knowingly all along. She lends Rybert a pinky ring that she saved from Rocko-did I mention we get to see several pictures of Rocko in drag ?
But then Ryan must confront the Father of the family. He ain't coming clean. What hideous secret is he keeping away from Rymond ? It turns out that when he was in 5th grade (what would that make him-13 ?) a no good friend of his got him all into werewolves. They made a very special 5th grade Faustian deal with SATAN that they would give up there souls if Satan would turn them into werewolves when they died!!!
So, in comes PaPaBob to do a house cleaning.
Hey, he's a religious Verminator here to shoo away the Bill O'reilly loofah wielding weresquirrel. Latinating, cussing in Jesus's name, challenging demons, casting out, holy water dispensing, crying, weeping, Ryan yelling-you know, the regular megillah. Ryan waves around Rocko's pinky ring like it's some kind of beacon to Rocko's slightly conflicted spirit. But wait. The silliness has not reached its blood curdling climax yet.
Turns out Dad's long figured that he owes god a little something special, something a little extra. He's talked to his personal preacher man & he figures that to show God he really means it, it's time for a full riparian endrenchment John the Baptist let us gather by the river full immersion baptism. Something God could relate to. Ryan thinks that would be nice-the least you could do, you little pact with the devil making brat.
Cut to the final scene-Dad and PaPaBob wearing cheap plastic waders in the thigh high water of the river.Bobs rather blimp-like torso cuts a dashing ecumenical figure in his green plastic waders. Bob says whatever it is you say and dribbles water on Dad's head. Let's hope it's not runoff from a tailing pond from a local coal mine.
& That's it for Season 3. I'm sure I missed something, so when they re-run this episode you really owe it to yourself to watch it. It's worth the hour of your time & unlike last weeks episode you won't feel like taking a shower after watching it.
I'm thinking of writing a movie treatment about the whole Mom Laverne & Rocko story. It's got bofo box office written all over it, don't you think ? Humor. Music. Pathos. Dancing. Dead Moms. X Dressing Ghosts. Or maybe a TV pitch.
Call it Laverne & Squirelly.
The floor is completely flat
6 hours ago