Extreme Paranormal -- LMAO

another A$E paranormal TV show!!
say it ain't so.
the revDR comes thru again:

this is the RevDr's review of this (yet another completely idiotic paranormal) show:

"There is Nathan, the woo-woo expert who talks a little lispy ala Chippernog, Jason (I think) who is a short, fat Eunuch type who is the "technical expert" (which I think means he can figure out a 9 volt battery) and I'm blanking on the name of the MC Dude who goes mano y mano with the speerits. I'm not the svelte, snake hipped boy I once was, but do you need to be a fatty to be a Paranermal ? It seems that on every Para show, at least one of the investigators is a tubby. There must be some correlation.

The 1st episode was at that prison in New Mexico that flared up into a multi-day murderthon of a riot in 1980. Our hefty, lisping team was obsessed with a child molester inmate that was burned alive (which seems fair enough to my cruel side). They were in the prison late at night all by themselves, chasing after things that went "bump" in the night. Gee, what could possibly make noise in a huge, dilapidated prison at night ? The usual EMF readers and digital recorders and FLIRS were in evidence. Our 3 Tons of Fun would be on one tier of the prison & they'd hear a bump elsewhere & they would go charging around to find the noise. Lots of silly running around & being scared shitless by their own shadows.

Well, at one point they gather at the purported location of the child molester's immolation and do their "featured" bit of invocation. First Nathan lays down on the floor & gets outlined with chalk ala crime scene (do they still do that ?) Then they put down some flammable liquid on the inside of the outline. Then, letting us all know that "Blood Rituals" are really spooky & dangerous, Nathan carves a bit on his arm with a razor blade to get the juices flowing and draws a rune of some mystical tree that is a summoning rune inside the outline (did he have "cutting issues" as a lonely, chubby, nerdling ?) Then they set the outline on fire--spooky ! and start calling for "Inmate 107856" to come out, come out, wherever he is. They speak harshly to him & threaten him (how do you threaten a burned to death child molester from 29 years ago ?)

Then it gets really funny. Since that didn't work, Jason The Eunuch gets locked down in the adjoining cell and sets up a small Van der Graff generator thing-why, were not told- and Nathan lispily tells us that he's spraying down the area with salt water, which is a good electrical conductor, to make Inmate 107856 appear all the better. To add to the already festive proceedings, MC Dude-Boy starts hacking away at the cell bars with a metal grinder-causing all sorts of scare-show sparks to start a-flying, and gets all impolite with the spirit of the crispy critter, threatening him with mayhem and rudeness and ungentlemanly treatment if he does not appear. Eunuch boy is using the FLIR and tells MC Grinder that his temperature is dropping. "Yeah, Dude (they say "Dude" a lot) I'm freezing" Other than that, I don't recall much Paranormal action. Then the Littlest Eunuch gets (did I mention how good he looks in shorts & a tight T-Shirt ?) all wigged out-He's been seriously Pushed-ala Chad Calek- by, of course, Inmate 107856. He is all in a tizzy and wants Dude-Boy to hurry up & grind the lock off the door so's he can get outta there ! Yikes, being pushed around by a roasted child molester is scary business-especially when you look like a size 4x 9 year old !

Suddenly, Nathan sees a -Oh No !- shadow and calls for his cohorts to scamper on down. Things go bump, and Mr. Dude-Boy is almost assaulted by....a pigeon ! One can only imagine all the vermin that prowls the halls of this large, moribund institution. I count at least three large, lumpy primates as part of the infestation.

The 2nd part of the show has to do with a "Haunted Lake." It seems like a ghost town got flooded out-Lake Bonito- where once a mining town existed. There was supposedly a drifter back in the mid 19th century that went on a killin' spree, murdering 7 people or something, before the posse gunned him down. Our heroes are there to do some aqua-woo. It's all very silly. A delightful "Summoning Circle" is made of 2x4's and tea candles (?), all very Martha Stewart. It's a circle with outlying pentagrams (4) and a triangle. It's some powerful Ju-Ju to summon the ghost of the bad man. Meanwhile, on the shore of the lake, our Expert of Woo is making a summoning fire to perform the summoning ritual. Eunuch boy is there with his EMF and other Ghosterific accoutrement to record ...whatever, since the action is out in the middle of the lake.

Meanwhile, MC Dude-Boy has his tea candle flotilla, which looks really pretty and festive out on the lake, and he's in a flattering wet suit and snorkel, gettin' ready to talk some trash to the Bad Man. As they say, the only thing in the lake are trout-and make no mistake, hatchery raised trout are renowned for their blood thirsty viciousness- and the drowned remains of the Ghost Town. So, they film the Summoning Ceremony, the tea lights are flickering and Eunuch Boys EMF device is going crazy ! And their aren't any emission sites for miles. Yup, we are told it's definitely the ghost of Mr. Shoot 'em Up, cain't be nothin' else !

Meanwhile, Scuba Boy is diving around lots of water weeds and freaking out about being grabbed by the bad guy like a 6 year old at a family picnic. Unfortunately-or not- this is where I dozed off, so I can't tell you anymore. I'm sure that, after dissing the Ghost with all sorts of manly trash-talk, that MC Dude-Boy was successful in summoning the target. Who could resist the festive tea candles?

Obviously a show that drops the gauntlet to PRS to get a little more confrontational with the Agents Of Woo. Sweet talking Belial with Scripture and squirt bottles of Holy Water just won't do it when we've had conflagrations and the use of manly hand tools. Or who knows, Maybe Ry-Ry's sweet talkin' approach is the ticket. I guess we could get the Extreme Paranormal Dude- Boys to visit Lara and the 6 & see if they can do a better job than Ry and his we-are-the-the-world prayer circle jerk on Lara's behalf. Only time will tell...

I definitely encourage you to watch next week, as I doubt this show will get picked up. The rushing, cussing 3 Stooges are truly a delightful addition to the annals of Parapsychology, and I'm sure they have the respect of the whole Paranormal community, as they bring a touch of Dog The Bounty Hunter to the prosecution of the Ghosties and Speerits and other Wonders of Woo in their own cholesterol rich manly way.

ye ole A$E Forum Funnies

I just loved the old A$E forum funnies -- people were actually allowed to make fun of A$E's "paranormal state" show when the show first came out (12/07)

myself, i think someone involved with the cast or crew became actively involved with the moderation of the A$E forums at some point, because once the overwhelming majority of negativity for this show became apparent, posts started disappearing.

back then - once this started happening, i started saving posts that i thought might get deleted. i think they're hilarious, and i'll post some, here and there, as YE OLE A$E PARANORMAL STATE QUIPS:

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And what's with Ryan's personal demonquest?

Screw it, They should just rename this show "Ryan Buell The Demon Hunter" and just have him use the word "Bra" every third word.

I think we got a demon here, bra.

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When my wife and I were watching we both thought ryan looked like Lance Bass from the NSync:)

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>>if you are a true fan of A & E's programming, why would you believe that all of a sudden they would air total crap?<<

Because they did.

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Ill watch next week. Looks like its gonna get really funny, gonna have a possession and everything!

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Reply to what? It's not like they did any actual scientific studies. They just walked around and talked a lot. Well, Ryan, mostly. I think his demon is called EGO.

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I actually find it fun watching just how corny they can get. Like really, how stupid does Ryan think his audience is?

I don't think you're looking at it quite right... he doesn't think the audience is stupid, he's just vastly more knowledgeable than they are... he is some sort of prophet type...

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A$E (and other TV networks) Flex the Big Ones

it's been a well-understood understory that television networks won't provide "reality" television without lots of signed contracts from the "real" show participants which guard against the participants telling what goes on behind the scenes.

it might spoil the "reality" of it all, eh?

nowhere does this ring more sinister than in a show that claims to be a "docudrama" about the paranormal; oh -- say, like the "paranormal state" show.

contracts hushing the participants....hmmmmm.

remove those contracts (or the FEAR of them) and what better way to bring the careers of media psychics and ghost hunters alike crashing down than to present all of the pre-production, melodramatic fakery for all to see??

myself, i'm thinking that these paranormal show participants could actually make more money if they DID come forward and make their experiences known.

unfortunately the participants of these shows are often undereducated and over-eager to believe in the paranormal(and/or they are just vying for attention like the balloon boy family's dad) -- it's my opinion that these kinds of shows specifically target these people.

why? i'm no psychologist. perhaps chip coffey could help?

i'm guessing it's because these people are either:

eager for attention,
not considering the long-term consequences,
actually believe that the people involved in these paranormal TV show have the power to help them,
think that they can earn money in the long run by the attention (especially commercial clients)

etc etc etc.

i'd love to see some of these TV show participants break free of their fear chains regarding non-disclosure agreements.

i think they should know what would happen if a TV network sued them over this kind of thing. i think some lawyers for the skeptical movement might be able to help them if they just ask.

It's Not What You Say , or maybe it is for some idiots....

spare me, chip coffey.

spare me,(insert any old has been thinks-they're-a-star person's name here.)

y'all want to go educate some kids in afghanistan?
y'all want to go educate some kids in inner city atlanta?
y'all want to go walk around elmira college?

Why Can't Psychics Be Specific???

i don't like the idea of wasting money on psychics.

religion and superstition are very funky bedfellows.

if you believe in god, and that this god had a son who "rose from the dead", i don't see how you would easily dismiss psychics.

because it's all just so unbelievable.

it's all six of one -- six six six of one? 666/1 = LOL

anyways, back to being SPECIFIC. why can't psychics be specific? why can't they ask their "spirit guides" specific questions?

why can't the audiences in some "chip coffey gallery" reading ask the questions and have the $200 *or more* "psychic medium" answer their exact questions?

what is a grandparents middle name?

what was a grandparent's pet's name?

what kind of food did a family member prefer or not prefer?

what did a family member like or not like about.....?

you get my drift.

any psychics' inevitable answer: "it doesn't work like that!!"

duh - oh.

Culture, Medicine, Politics

i don't enjoy hearing about politics, much less reading about politics -- likely because i'm sick of the way media bends and twists politics.

lately, i've been reading some books about the idea of anthropological medicine in the US. one book was about world-wide vaccinations against infectious diseases (like tuberculosis and aids) sadly, politics played a starring role / luckily money from wealthy backers has helped out.

i'm reading all about the way western medicine/science clashes with various cultures that are steeped in superstition and shamanism. apparently, one major issue with the merging of western meds with other cultures boils down to patient, or parental, compliance.

from the couple of books that i read, the most success is had when the western doctors actually take some time to learn about the cultures they're treating and allow the patients their own use of their idea of medicine (when it doesn't hurt the patients to do so)

we all read about the odd christian cult person who won't allow medical doctors or western medicine to treat their family member. (usually a kid) and the gov't has to get involved. often, the patient(usually a child) becomes the focus of a religion(woo) vs. medicine(science) battle.

thing is -- there are lots of other cultures out there who feel the same way.
(ie, they distrust western medicine/doctors and don't allow for western medicine in their cultural healing parameters.)

i ran across a book about Hmong immigrants to the US.
i'd never heard of the Hmong until i read this book a couple of weeks ago.

i am serious. i've never heard of the Hmong.

i feel like a stupid american.

(particularly when you consider the role that these people played in the vietnam war in laos -- the "silent" part of the war)

i know i'm not stupid, but it's disturbing that i was never told about this in school -- not even in college.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3031116.stm
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/19/us/19general.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/us/20shaman.html?em

i wonder what else we don't know? it makes me have empathy for some political conspiracy theorists.

supposedly, medical schools are teaching cultural anthropology.

none of this had never interested me before because i am an insulated and well-taken care of US citizen.

fat and happy.

i did mention insulated, right?